The beginnings of the blast overs

So Thursday saw the beginnings of one huge tattoo project. Covering badly burned and scarred skin and bad existing tattoos.
I have previously blogged about this particular journey and I’m so excited to update the blog with the progress!
When I got to the shop I spent a long time discussing options with the artist, who I have full trust in! what the possibilities were. I had expectations of having to get two very large dark pieces (which I was totally
Okay with) and that would engulf all the bad stuff and finish my leg off.
But it turns out that I have more white space than I realised and so the decision was made to do lots of small blastovers. A blastover is a kind of cover up but it lacks the same “completeness” that a cover up promises. They are usually black in place of colour and occasionally the previous tattoos colours can be seen underneath. Some people perceive them as crude or unfinished but I really like them, and it’s my leg right?
I searched for designs and eventually chose a hand with a rose, and a heart with a dagger and scroll. I got my daughters name in the heart.
The hand made use of the most negative (white space) and the roses covered a large piece of scarring. The heart has some purple coming through it and it looks almost tye dyed.
I am so pleased with this project and it’s just the beginning. We discussed what to do next and in order to minimise large awkward gaps, the shin will be the next stage to tattoo. I think I’m going to get my knee and foot done too, because the other leg has those and I want to have some level of symmetry.
I feel very lucky.
Here are some fresh photos!
Tattoos by Joe Ellis at Sacred Electric, Leeds UK.

Tattoo sleeve finished

Sherlock Holmes is my favourite fictional character, I read all the books as a teenager and I studied them at secondary school.
As I writer he inspired me. I started my sleeve two years ago and yesterday it was finished.

My sleeve was tattooed by Gre Hale at Rain City in Manchester , UK

Autumn’s coming!

Clockwise
Mustard snood – asos.com
Green cable knit cardigan – Topshop
Tartan sleeveless skater dress – newlook.com
Dr Martens Kensington boots -drmartens.co.uk

I really love autumn. Everything about it is amazing and I pretty much dress for it all year round. This means I do the bulk of my clothes shopping at this time of the year!
I complied this grid of my favourite pieces that I’ll be wearing this season. I also have a million striped tshirts and a leather jacket from topshop that didn’t make the grid but I will definitely be adding to my autumn outfits.
What will you be wearing this September?

Tattoo cover up – update!

A while ago I blogged about a tattoo I had laser removal treatment on, and the subsequent devastation it left on my skin! There was infection and it left me with a cavity on my shin and on steroids. After a long recovery and lots of research I got the all clear from dermatology to tattoo over the now healed skin.
The tattoo I got when I had just turned 18. I was naive, stupid and full of regrets instantly. It was a huge tattoo that covered all of my leg, shin to calf. I didn’t really think about the designs or what they meant or even if they suited me. I just wanted to tattooed because I was finally 18 and I could get as many as I wanted.
I am fully aware of how ridiculous and stupid this was.
I have an appointment to begin the cover up this month, it’ll be a big job and will take up to 20 hours of work to complete. I am so ready for this. I am 23 and every time I get undressed I see that tattoo and the scarring and hate it. Every summer I hide it in jeans or leggings, I am subconscious about it and when people ask about it no words come out my mouth. It holds a huge point of anxiety for me and getting it corrected will be a huge moment for me.
I feel like I have drained myself financially and emotionally getting it removed as much as possible, the physical recovery from the infection was painful and horrific. Through this, I feel like I have earned the cover up now, its the right time to do this and my skin is healthy enough to heal properly afterwards.
A lot of my tattoos do not mean anything sentimental, no tributes to dead relatives or partners. I liked the designs and they suited what I already had. I do love my tattoos though! They are all carefully chosen and positioned by artists that I often go on waiting lists for after months of research. The cover up will mean more than any of the others could because its the last part of my past that I am constantly reminded of. It marks a time in my life when I made a lot of mistakes and hurt people, and listened to people I should have stayed away from. The first session may not cover a lot, but its a start and it will give me a good idea of what the finished tattoo will be like.
Next summer I will be in shorts come rain or shine. I cannot wait to have a tattoo I can be proud of.
I will of course be updating after my first appointment!
I will end this with a final snap of the tattoo as it is now. I cannot wait to see what it becomes next

Pain: Part 2 : Do we need to feel it

So here is the second part of my pain series. In part one I explored the theories around physical pain. In this segment Id like to talk about emotional pain. Some people find emotional pain even harder to deal with than physical pain, i think I am one of those people.
With an injury or an illness (in most cases) people can remedy their pain with medicine or treatment, and feel some instant relief or at least comfort that the pain is acknowledged and can be managed. There is hope for that kind of pain.
Psychologists and help books exist to help confront emotional pain, but people still have to independently seek that help. Drawing from my own experience over the last couple of months I can say that emotional pain certainly feels like it takes longer, it lingers around your mind for weeks to months and the only temporary relief you get is when you sleep. If you can.
Emotional pain teaches us lessons. Regret, remorse, guilt, whatever you want to call it. Its part of our subconscious which functions (some say) in order to ‘download’ events and fully process what happened. I have read some research into dreaming and how our dreams fulfill similar processing needs but there is so much information on that so I will save it for a future post!
Being guarded as a person, can come from a wary disposition or a negative experience. Sometimes people repress memories that are simply too traumatic or painful to cope with. Repressed memories can escape the boxes in our heads at any time and they can be triggered by words, noises or smells. I think its quite scary that its possible for this to happen, to have gone through something with no idea when or where or why and then one day, perhaps as an adult, have it come back and be present in your life.
The mind is fascinating, to think that every fear, every thought, every memory is all locked inside one organ, our brain. Its (sorry for the pun) mind blowing. Dreaming, processing, repressing are all ways in which the brain and the subconscious defends itself. We DO need to feel emotional pain, to feel closure, to heal and to understand certain events in our lives. Sometimes once the pain ends, we can see things from a wider perspective and gain valuable experience from our pain. But knowing that sometimes, we take the pain out of our own control, prevents that healing. Denial is another preventative of feeling pain, or addressing pain we know to be there. In summary, emotional pain is so complex, that all the research in the world couldn’t tell me if we need to feel it or not. But if for whatever reason we are unable to feel it, the body and mind generates its own mechanisms to cope. I think emotional pain is hard, heartbreak particularly sucks but it brings us closure and eventually we can all learn something from our own experiences.